Newsweek: TV Gets Transgendered

WOW! Ok, so a coworker sent me a link to this Newsweek article and I just couldn't believe how awesome it was! The article takes a positive note about the trend for putting TG the reality TV shows. On top of that, they use the right lingo, and reference the right organizations (NCTE). I was especially impressed by an analysis of how Isis' transition relates to her ability as a model! Great read! :)

http://www.newsweek.com/id/159390/page/1

Enjoy! :)
Maddy

Come to my quite place...

Welcome to my quite place. To get here, you first quite your mind. Let your thoughts drift and ebb as they feel the need but don't focus on them or let them distract you.

Take a deep breath. Hold it for a second and relish the freshness of the air, the clarity it brings, and the life it sustains, then release it back into the world. Breathe easy and calm.

As you take the first step notice the rough texture of the rough-hewn limestone stairway as it leads up through the misty jungle. Notice the effort of each step and coolness of the stairs as they press into your feet. Make solid contact with each one, knowing and understanding exactly where you are at all times before taking the next.

Your mind stills and a sense of awe dawns as you reach the canopy and view the expanse of nature that spreads out for miles around you. Above your head, falcons dance on the breeze. Below your feet, jaguars pad through the soft undergrowth.

Welcome to the middle world, the place between places. Its beauty is awe inspiring but can also be distracting. Let it fill your senses and give you hope, but don't stop here. You're only half-way there.

You return to the stairs and notice that they're getting steeper. Each step requires a little more effort but propels you higher and higher along your way. You break into a warm sweat, feeling the gentle strain as your muscles lift you nearly to the top.

As you go higher, a cool mist settles in, shrouding your path and unsettling your mind. You start to drift and a twinge of fear creeps in as you wonder how painful a fall would be. Don't get distracted. Now is the crucial point. You're almost there, so stay focused on the path. Feel the smooth rock under your feet and against your palms as you hug the steeply inclined stairway.

Eventually you reach a point where you can get no further. You're right below the top but you can't quite reach the edge to pull yourself up. Just then, a hand is lowered over the edge. You grasp their forearm and together you haul yourself up, over the edge, and onto a plateau atop the mountain.

As you breathe deeply and recover your senses you notice that the whole world is stretched out below you. Cities and forests, oceans and deserts all spread out for you to observe. Behind you stands an ancient building. People are coming and going through it doors.

"It's not time yet for that", the person who helped you states. "You just needed a little perspective. Come back later and you can go there." You wonder how you are going to get down, but then notice people actually jumping over the edge! Warily you walk up to the side and look over. All you can see is people disappearing through the clouds.

Fearfully, you look back at the spot where you climbed over the edge and then back at the person standing behind you. "Go ahead," they say. "It won't hurt... much" They say with a laugh. Then, uncertainly you step to the edge and lean out ever so slowly, until gravity takes it's hold on you and pulls you over the side.

The first thing you notice is the sound of the air as it swooshes past, and coolness of the cloudy mist as it condenses on your skin. Eventually you break through the clouds and free fall into the open sky. Turning over you start to roll in the sky. First to one side, then to the next. After a bit you start doing somersaults and actually laugh at the feeling.

Then you notice the jungle canopy coming at you rather quickly. Sensing your impending doom, you tense... Then, knowing you have not control over what's going to happen next, you relax fully and completely and still your mind in preparation for your collision with the earth.

Suddenly you're whipping through the canopy. Leaves and branches swish past your arms and face. One second you break through and the next you hit the spongy undergrowth. You hit the peat with a thud and a cloud of dust rises around you.

Blinking your eyes in amazement, you peer around and take a deep breath. You're back where you started... only this time, you're different. For one thing, you're surprised to be alive. For another, you notice that everything has changed ever so slightly. Maybe it's just your perception, but everything simply glows with life.

Welcome back. You can come here any time. :)
Maddy

Dancing Queen?

As you walk into a dark and smokey drag-bar, the rhythmic pulsing of distorted house music rattles your chest and reminds you that it's been a long time since the last time you went dancing. Oh dancing! What a sweet release! Nothing but you and the music. You move your body in time with, against, into and out of the music in a frenetic rhythm that is all your own. People around you openly stare, whether in wonder, amazement, or abject horror you don't really know and would like to think that you couldn't care less.

But you've just arrived and need to do the rounds, giving out hugs and handshakes to new friends and old. You've arrived on this particular occasion to celebrate a good friend who is transgender like yourself. Included in your circle of friends are M2F and F2M transsexuals, cross dressers, drag queens, drag kings, gender queer, gender fuck, and bi-gendered... all of whom seek the solidarity of each others companionship in the relative safety of the local gay-bar.

Maybe it's the way you dance, the sweat in your hair, the fact that you're not wearing a bra and your tiny tits aren't big enough to really make an impression, or that you've been hanging around with queens all night, but you get clocked on the dance floor by a group of giggly college girls. They egg each other on, trying to see which of them has the guts to come over and dance with you. Finally the bravest (or drunkest) of the group comes over and gets right up in your personal space before you realize what's happening.

Not wanting to embarrass her or yourself, or hurt anyone's feelings, you dance with her for a few seconds before backing off to do your own thing once more. Suddenly another girl from the group pulls out a camera and begs to take your picture to commemorate her friend's bravery. Not knowing what to do or say you oblige and then retreat to your own corner of the dance floor, not really knowing what to make of the whole affair.

Eventually the night trickles to an end and you escape the noise and confusion of the bar. As you drive the one hour trip home you reel from the insanity of the night. Were you dancing well? Did they really clock you or were you just being paranoid? Why didn't anyone really want to dance with you? Where the hell were all the lesbians? Why don't you seem to fit in with ANYONE at the bar? AND WHY THE !@#$%^ DID THAT !@#$%^ GIRL FEEL THE NEED TO TAKE YOUR !@#$%^ PICTURE!?!?!?!

The more you think about it, the more ticked off you get. "I'm not a !@#$%^& tourist attraction!" you tell yourself irately. I mean really! Why not take a picture of the drag queens? They're WAY better looking! grrrr the whole thing just makes you ill!

It's not easy being a bisexual transsexual! You're too girly for gay guys or straight girls. You have the wrong equipment for lesbians or straight guys, and you can't seem to find any bi girls or guys who aren't already taken or just messed up in the head. Few of your trans friends are close enough to your age to even be an option, and those who are, aren't really interested. Come to think of it, it's !@#$%^& lonely! :(

You know what though? Given the chance, you'd do it all over again in a heartbeat! ;)

*Hugs*
Maddy

hormanal t-girl seeks large shotgun ;)

I'm sitting here doing 'square breathing' in order to keep from snapping and killing someone today...

• breathe in for 4 heartbeats...
• hold and center for 4 heartbeats...
• breathe out for 4 heartbeats...
• hold and center for 4 heartbeats..

Listen to the music and be at one with the universe ... don't kill people... don't kill people... don't kill people ... ok you can just maim someone today ... we'll call it a 12 step program ;) LOL

Seriously though... I don't ever recall really just waking up in a truly foul mood and not being able to recover from it before going on hormones! I know that the 'male' brain tends to have more of the 'make you happy' chemicals in it than the 'female' brain, but I'm just downright bitchy today! Thankfully I've managed to restrain myself from unloosing the fury on someone, but dios mio! It does make you wonder if your brain actually changes or if I'm just being hormonal. ;) Oh well sorry to waste a post on my bitchiness ...

ttfn,
Maddy

Death of a Hero

Last night I got one of those calls that no-one ever likes to receive. My great-uncle Harold DeHart died. :( He is one of my greatest heros! He and my Aunt Dinky have always looked after me (since I came to the Triangle Area to go to school in '92).



On top of just being a stand-up guy, he is one of the most self-made people I've ever met! He is brilliant, dedicated to learning, and extremely curious about how things work! He has something like 5 patents to his name, the last being this nifty little combination table / dishwasher contraption for dorm rooms, apartments, and retirement homes. Check it out at: http://au-dine.net/index.html. Besides all that he taught himself to play the piano and violin!

Unfortunately I haven't done the greatest job of staying in touch these past few years, but I will always remember him and admire him for the impression he has made on me! Uncle Harold, I love you and hope you're doing well in the ever after!

Maddy

Pure Magic

Everyone once in a while I come across something so special and magical that I sometimes wonder if it really happened or if I was dreaming. This last weekend was one of those times! I was up in beautiful Hot Springs, NC at a Kindred Spirits Gathering, and WOW was it totally awesome!!!

I have heard about gatherings from different friends through the years, and had always wanted to go to one, but never had the opportunity until this weekend! I've also been practicing my own little branch of Wicca (a Nature Based Spirituality) ever since I left the Christian church in high-school. (I got tired of going to hell simply because I'm different). Unfortunately though I've had very little opportunity to share my spirituality with anyone and have often felt the loss the kinship that arises from a mutual understanding of something bigger than myself. Although I should mention that I have recently found a welcoming group of people in the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Raleigh, where they accept people of all races, genders, creeds, and forms of spirituality. :)

Needless to say, I jumped at the chance to take part in the gathering when my friend, Terri told me about it. The deal was sealed when I got to meet one of the leaders of the western NC group, Holly Boswell. I knew immediately that I was in for something special. It must have been the air of presence and caring that follows her everywhere she goes! :)

Well, I couldn't have been more surprised and impressed with what I found when I got there!
Everyone was SO kind, sincere, open, and welcoming! From the opening ceremony I knew that I was in for a treat! First of all, almost everyone there was trans! Second, everyone was there with the sole intent of taking part in this special event with every part of their being! And it was truly special!

The entire 4 day weekend (Thursday - Sunday) was spent in such an actively relaxed fashion! There were several traditional pagan circle-type rituals, all of which were centered on personal growth, healing, sharing, and listening to our intuition. The most impressive and intense of which was the circle held on top of a bald mountain with a complete 360 view of the Blue Ridge Mountains!!! We did several shamanic journeys with Rick and Annasara Fire. (who have to be the absolute cutest couple I've seen in quite a while!) :) The sheer amount of intense, spiritual, and even supernatural experiences was quite overwhelming!

There was nature walks, frolicking in the Laurel river, and recuperating in the famous hot springs. We ate tons of fantastic vegetarian food cooked by our hosts at the wonderfully quaint and welcoming Sunnybank Inn too! Elmer Rocks, and you just can't say enough about his hospitality!!! When we weren't doing structured events, there was lots of getting to know each other, drum circles, story-telling by the campfire under a full moon (awesome!), yoga in the yard at dawn, oh and yeah we did actually get some sleep too! :) LOL!

I would HIGHLY recommend this for ALL people of a spiritual leaning, especially those who are TG and who are looking for something that uplifts and celebrates them for who they are! I for one will remember this forever and will DEFINITELY be back every year that I can possibly make it!

"Hello" and "Love You" to all my new friends! :)
Maddy

Maddy Speaks Up

Hello Everyone,

You may or not be aware of the fact that, aside from the many things I do, I'm also a member of the Human Rights Campaign's Board of Governors (http://www.hrc.org). Obviously, therefore I support HRC in it's fight for ALL of our rights, especially my trans brothers, sisters, and everyone else in-between. ;)

I'm not one for confrontation though, so I usually avoid engaging when people are being silly or just plain bitchy. Occasionally though I'll see something that just doesn't make sense. Recently I received an email on the Cyndi's Circle list denouncing HRC for it's recent statement to the National Platform Drafting committee of the Democratic National Convention (http://www.hrcbackstory.org/2008/08/hrc-legislative.html) .

Here is my reply:

Dear Cyndi,

Thanks for sending this out! I'm very excited about the recent activity in Congress concerning our rights as Transgender Americans! I'm a little perplexed by your blowing this off and then stating that "actions speak louder than words" though.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems that our voice as trans people is being heard by HRC, and that we are seeing "actions" on their part. This latest hearing is a good example. Another great examply is the recent hearing on "transgender issues" (http://www.hrcbackstory.org/2008/06/wow-rachel-and.html) in which HRC Business council members Diego Sanchez testified in person and Meghan Stabler testified in writing.

As a trans-woman, I personally applaud every organization willing to stand in front of our nation's government and fight for our rights, regardless of mistakes they may have made in the past. Shouldn't we all applaud and encourage more of this behavior from HRC, rather than denouncing them for their efforts?

Sincerely,
Madeline Goss
Proud Trans Woman and member of the HRC Board of Governors

Makes sense to me. :)
Maddy